This is too deep not to want share. The hurt in this post is tangible. I feel sharing it may touch another soul.
I lay in bed the other night, hands crossed over my heart and legs pin-straight, and thought of those words:
This is not about me at all, is it? This is all about you.
That’s what you said to me when I told you I wanted to have the procedure done. A procedure that would be risky, as any procedure is, but that might point us to what’s wrong. The answer to why our children are in the clouds and not here with us.
I was angry at you for saying such a cruel thing. So I went to bed in silence and didn’t tell you to sleep with God and dream with me like I always do. I didn’t kiss you or reach for your hand in reconciliation. I simply lay there, emotionally entombed, trying not to breathe too hard or feel too much as I waited for sleep…
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