It’s true relationships, even the most loving relationships sometimes end. It’s also true that some people are hang up on their exs and take a long time to move on or even heal. However, if you have gone through the normal grieving process, you will recover and move on.
I am writing this for the occasional mad man/woman who decides to be a leech and hang on and suck the life out of their ex.
It’s bewildering that i find myself doing this, but i guess actions are not words. Therefore, i have decided to give you a piece of my mind.
Ex, the reason we both are that is because it’s over. The reasons are well known to you and I. But just in case you forgot, we broke up.
When we broke up, there wasn’t much pomp and joy in my life. So do not for one second think that i look forward to reading your texts. I see the skies, i know how the weather is. Its usually either cold or hot. I do not relish reading your texts. I feel as if you got into the habit of stalking. This must be a new trade in your home area.
Pictures of you and your family or your significant other do not make me smile, neither do they make me frown. So in essence you have wasted your time. I am not touched by the news that there’s a new arrival in your crib. I do not turn green when i see your hot catch in bikinis. I feel papers. So please stop with the pictures and texts. If i had an interest, Instagram would have been a first stop, looking for you.
Ex, stop with the late night calls. Really, what are you calling to tell me about? Are you checking up on me or are you trying to find out if i am alone? Well let me give you a sober answer. Since you left I’ve moved on and met someone else. The reason your late night phone calls or texts are never answered is because there’s business going on. You know the kind that used to go on when you were in my life. Yes that. Since your dumb head may not understand this, let me clarify it for you even further, i am usually on top of or below someone. A phone call from you at that hour is an extremely rude interruption and is never welcome. Are you good? Alright then. That reminds me, your descriptive texts and unsavory pictures of what you wish to do or miss doing is just that, unsavory. I do not miss doing it with you really.
You have it wrong when you think you were the best. I needed to feed your small ego so i had to say something to cheer you up. But don’t we all sometimes?:-). I just have to laugh. After all isn’t it that macho attitude that broke us up? What your shady self didn’t know is, you really weren’t the best. So ex please don’t ask if we can meet up for a roll in the hay for old times sake. The thought brings to mind some gruesome images from horror flicks i have watched in the past. Of particular interest is the Final Destination series. It would truly be my way out of this earth- being with you. I know now that you would very likely make me suicidal. Yes ex, its true, i really do not like you. Being in the same room with you would cause an immediate panic attack. I can also see myself getting sick right there on the floor.
Ex, please stop sending friend requests in whatever social network i may be on. The day we parted ways was the day our friendship ended. On whatever basis. Commenting on my profile pages is also a no go zone for you.
Ex, our breakup was a particularly painful experience. So realize i have been just tolerating you. However this is the end of the road. I needed to fuel my vanity a little longer, i needed to see you on your knees begging for me to take you back. Just to fuel my ego i needed to hear you say you are sorry. But, i do not need you!
Consider your behind dismissed. Love don live here anymore. Not your love anyway. I have since moved on, i have found someone who makes me feel wanted, needed, appreciated and loved. This person has since reduced you to a galloping donkey as opposed to him the stallion in the wild . Sometimes i think of you, yes i do, when i see a donkey.:-) I know that’s funny even to you. Those things you didn’t do for me, those things i didn’t do for you, all the promises, all the vows have since been trashed. They belong to the dumpster now. So do not remind me. I do not feel an ounce of remorse or guilt.
Seeing you on your knee, apologizing has brought a smile on my face, but even that won’t last. Because, i do not know you, i do not remember you, i do not care about you, seriously i do not.
One more thing, i am firing you. I have dismissed you from that role you hold so proudly. You are no longer Ex, you are NOBODY TO ME.
There is a creepy type of ex out there. One who will not let you go on happily. One who will follow you, stalk you and sometimes even kill you. This open letter is for that creepy girl or guy. If you are him or her consider yourself served by yours truly, THE BRIDGE IS ALIGHT. STAY ON YOUR SIDE.