Actually lets not have coffee…………. here is my email Talk to me

People the first thing i need to mention is i have seriously struggled with the title of my story. Seems to me like my moose died. Anyway while i think of what  to call this post, i know what i want to say.  It’s a good thing i know what i feel.

The other day i was watching a wedding show. Yes i do watch wedding shows sometimes. Okay i rarely do. Okay it was my house-girl who was watching and i just happen to have been in the room. How that happened? You see, between a book and television, the book always wins. But somehow this wedding caught my attention. it had so many things going on such that i had to notice. Okay i will be honest, my house-girl kept uttering surprised remarks and talking to me i had to look. She liked the dresses, was amazed by the gazebos and the fact that, the maids changed a record three times into different gowns or something in that neighborhood.

Friends i am not going to tell you about the amazing gowns and the ten tiered cake. No. That doesn’t much interest me. What caught my attention  is the couple’s response to where they had met. Heheheheheheh yes that is what caught my attention.  Drums roll tada!!!!!Surprise people, they met on the internet.  I have this huge smile on my face, because i have friends who will be laughing off their seats because of that statement. You see, i have a bit of a problem meeting strangers. I do not know how to say hello or sometimes even how to say “i am fine thank you”. You see when a person walks straight up to me, i sort of recoil.  And i become a total bore. maybe i am a bore after all.

I would like us to seriously consider striking friendships over the internet. Lets look at it critically then maybe we shall have a better view or understanding of how people meet on the internet and strike lifelong friendships or even other deeper relationships like marriage. So let’s see if we can cover the basics.


Your profile matters a lot. This is your representative before the people you have an interest in approach you. Your profile also helps keep away the kind of people you are not interested in.  It’s wise to mention what your hobbies, like, interests are. This helps potential friends decide whether to click connect or not. It’s wise to mention exactly what it is you want. For instance, if you are religious and would feel offended if someone sent you a sexy message, it would be a good idea to mention it upfront that you are not interested in people who are in the habit of sending explicit messages.  And if you are into something like sex, i do not see why you shouldn’t mention it to the world. You see you save us a lot of trouble wondering what it is you are into or not. Most people lie a whole lot on their profiles. However there are some lies that maybe safe and others really dangerous for you. consider how much u want us to know and how much you do not want us to know. Feel free to be mellow or hardened depending on who you are. Nobody says we have to be the same. Try to be yourself. And when you can’t do not be surprised when others shock you in the future. just because You misled them.
I must admit, this is also a huddle sometimes. How one introduces themselves or responds to an introduction matters too. It’s good to keep in mind what our purpose/goal was at the beginning. so obviously if i am looking for a bible study group i will not sen a message and ask someone who has obviously stated they are religious if they want to go dancing. I will obviously look for people who have something in common with me. Therefore remember to read a profile before you either introduce yourself or respond to their greeting.  Because trust you me, that first virtual meeting will either break or make a relationship. Now I am not one to much advice on this one because i am very choosy and the tone of a greeting sometimes may invoke a nasty response from me.  So in this case i am preaching water and drinking wine. Anyway trust my word, its true. My habit is bad. Be respectful when you approach a person. It matters a lot. i do not have to explain that one too much. Should someone say they do not like you or refuse to respond to you or reject a friend request, come on its not the end of the world! Move on. These social networks have a large network of people who most likely have something in common with you. Do not find it in your place to spit nasty words at someone who honestly shouldn’t care if you are alive or dead.  Learn the ropes of approaching, how to respond and how to take rejection without getting bitter. You ought to know when you insist so much on being someones acquaintance they become afraid and suspicious of you.  and will definitely want to run away. I have done that quite a lot. A whole lot.
I trust i am not talking to bimbos here or dimwits. By the time you decide to meet someone you already know what it is you want with this person. I will not emphasis on the need for safety or anything like that. Because I expect that by the time you get to this point you have pretty much made up your mind if you trust or don’t trust this person.  However its always good to meet in a public place especially if you are jittery about the person.( Sorry Teddy…. come on how would I have known you would be like the brother I never had…. Tsk tsk.) Ensure you at least have something in common or you are going to have a very boring and painful experience. If you feel uncomfortable about the meeting you can take a break, go to the bathrooms and ask a friend to call you in five minutes and fake an emergency. There’s  no need to hurt someones feeling given you have this far. usually you will have learnt quite a bit about each other. other tactics that have worked for me are feigning a completely different you. This is how you do this: If this person knows you as a humble person, you can try being snobbish. this will get you a free ticket home and you will never see each other. If they know you as a smart person, please turn on the stupid. It works. Hehehehehe a while back i made such a connection, and we was becoming fast friends and finally decided to meet. Oh well I was disappointed. But rather than show it, I made sure the guy went home thinking how stupid is that girl. I talked too much about my ex’s, nothing about my future plans, current plans….. it was all bla bla bla. I know he went home thinking ‘wow that must be the most stupid girl I will ever know’. i have to laugh. That is exactly what i wanted.  Otherwise if you like the person and you gel well then I do not see why you wouldn’t enjoy yourself.
Those are the three important parts I know about meeting people on the internet. Now I bet you will want to know what my views are about it.

Friendships and many other relationships can be formed from anywhere. In the salon, at he pub, in church, at the library. You see anywhere where there’s people, one can strike a relationship. How we handle those relationships however is what makes a difference. I am not perfect. In fact I am far from perfect. I have made friends everywhere, including on the net. And what i know now, is it’s not about where you and i met, its how we carry this relationship and where we are taking it. That is what matters. I have met a whole bunches of people online. I haven’t necessarily met them face to face, but they make a difference. I have learnt that there are bad people and good people.  But do not be fooled that because he/she is behind a screen he/she is a pervert. Sometimes the people we live with are the worst. And that has nothing to do with where you met them. They could be our mothers, fathers, brothers or sisters. So before you jump on to me and tell me friendships I form on the internet or otherwise are superficial, check yourself. And remember a relationship is what you make it to be. But you have to be smart about it and make decisions you will not regret.

Zoro this one is for you.


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