Mr Grim Reaper you stand accused. (Warning, may cause lack of sleep and nightmares.)

The face of Death

Do i sound scared? I should, because I am afraid. My only getting younger birthday, was only a day ago, i am not too old people, for me to be afraid of the grim reaper. I have better reason to be afraid of this monster….. Really.

Anyway scared or not, fact is i will get to die some day, and i am prepared to die. (As if it matters what i think anyway.) hahahaha. I keep deviating from my story just to add some asides that don’t add value to my story. Thursday morning, got out of the house very early to be at work just to clear some issues i had left pending. On my way i encounter a traffic jam, and at that hour i wondered how. So i reasoned, as is obvious, that there was an accident.
Sure there was an accident. Not the one i am used to seeing though. This one was super hideous. Hades must have hidden in the shadows when he saw it happen. You see, a persons life had been snapped by the nasty sisters in greek mythology….. Anyone please. Teddy? Forgotten their names. I can picture them snapping at the thread of what had been been his life. That is alright. The beef i have with these grannies, beauties or princesses was the mode of transport they chose for this poor soul.

You will note that i have not referred to the person either as a she or he. Wonder why? The sisters were pretty nasty about the mode of transport to either Heaven or Hell or whatever place people go to when they die………… That subject will be discussed on another day. Anyway this poor human being did get to meet Hades pals in style. See he/she had been ran over by enough vehicles to ensure that not a single bone from his skull down to the feet could be traced. Only the feet remained as indentification marks. If you can call them that. I am a lover of the dark, scary and mysterious. True. But when i am left with no imagination what-so-ever, its downright annoying. Anyway it was a very somber scene. Scary to death and well, heart breaking. What with the knowledge that we do not really have the facilities to identify corpses, what do you gather the family, friends or collegues of the said person would think? Well, that possibly, the person in question dissapeared to the ends of the world, has no intention of being found, bla bla bla………… But it got me thinking, given this person was lying under a bridge, what are the possibilities that, he/ she was walking home late, got roughed up by thugs, possibly stubbed tried to fight back, was thrown over the bridge, broke his leg, before he could rise or as he/she was rising up, got hit by the first car, didn’t die, as he/she struggled to rise again, finally got swept by a speeding truck…. I know i would do well writting a script for a horror film…….. hahahahahah anyway you think about it. It is dark but it is a possibility.
And that is the reason i want to meet Mr Grim Reaper before he finally decides its time to pluck me. See this person died a million times. That is what i deduced from the pile of flesh i saw anyway. Now, i will be asking the grim reaper for some respect and abit of dignity when its time for me to go. EG

1. Dying out of old age. Before i have become completely senile and lost control of my bowels.
2. A clean shot in the head. That is in case someone decides to off me, i hope they could at least aim in the head and spare me the pain. Hope they are good marksmen too.
3. A fall in the bath, hit my medula oblangata so hard that i just go.
4. Broken neck. On conditon that i wont be aware of it.
5. Massive heart attack.

I do sound kind of off it. Right? I assure you it is the scene that i encountered that encouraged me to be daring enough to have a conversation with the grim reaper and with witnesses. So that incase anything happens to me other than what i have recomended we can put him on the defense on the day of judgement. Yes. Get the bugger to answer a couple of our questions. Like why he choses to take our dearest from us whenever he pleases. And why he can’t choose a better avenue. This bustard is so shameless that he will do some very unlawful things i say. Yes he is a bustard. Do you think a guy like him has a daddy? Really? ok let us not get into that sick conversation i was about to introduce but this guy is pretty wacko. Like that scene i described sounds like a horror flick right? Oh trust me horror movies borrow from real life, not the other way. Imagine these scenes.
1. People burnt beyond recognition by gasoline.
2. People drowning in their cars.
3. People getting hacked into pieces by youth who are too high on drugs to understand what they are doing.
4. Terrible car crushes that render human flesh be part of the wreckage.

Yes its dark and makes you wonder what i have been through or what i am. But truth be told, we have all witnessed this at one point in our lives. Whether we wanted it or not. Can’t shy away from that. And that is why Mr Reaper and I are signing this contract.
Jean …………………………….
The Grim Reaper …………………..
I promise not to sue if you listen to my words of advice. If you don’t, see you on judgement day. And i am not talking about The Sarah Connor chronicles, you bustard. Yes you unshameful bustard.


Hell knows no fury……..

…….. as a woman scorned. Really? Possibly given i have in the past witnessed a woman trying to snuff the life out of her friend with a sugarcane. Yes it was hilarious. And sure i am laughing real loud. But i beg to differ. Having observed my toddler i am quickly getting convinced that scorned women need to meet up with scorned toddlers and learn a few tricks.

Yes, i have learned the hard way. You see i am the proud mama of a little man. Lilman we shall call him today. This fellow will be turning three in four months time. Well i am not excited because it only makes me more acutely aware of where i am headed. Anyway i sound like a ranting mad woman who’s talking about nothing. They were not wrong when they called this age terrible. Because it has just about brought out the worst in him. Don’t get me wrong, i am awfully crazy about Lilman. But i wonder about him. You see indiscipline might serve well as his first name right now. The other day as we were getting into the house, he spotted one of our neighbors. He proceeds to shout “you fool!” and points at the poor gentleman. Before you point an accusing finger at me, trust me i had his hide for dinner that day. No don’t call child protection services. Because they will bring him right back and i will have the last laugh. See if i dude his age behaves that way, you can imagine the shocked, mad and purely rude stares I’d get at the convenience store the next time he slips and picks up an object and throws it at someone? I ought to add the fact that he is a perfect marksman. (i wonder if i can apply for a snipers position for him at the NSIS or something similar). So you picture that, and tell me if i will get out alive. Anyway what i am trying to say is i have have several teary moments with him. Ha ha. Not his, mine. Why didn’t the doctor tell me “here is your bundle or pure unadulterated energy?” And gave me a manual with him. With words of caution. Namely: Will bite at will, throw stuff, wake up in the middle of the night just to scream his head off, will hurt himself and others within five feet…….. You know, any kind of warning. Well true parenting does not come with a manual. But lately i have been thinking it should. You see when your baby makes you think it would be nice to fall sick and get admitted in hospital it raises more than eyebrows. Bundle of joy and happiness. Hehehe.
Oh did i tell you about the day i tried telling him about hell and Heaven? Not one of my favorite moments i might add. Well i sat him down and explained just how horrible hell is. Oh and i did pain a grim picture of the place. (Even i was scared.) Then i went on to paint a fabulous picture of Heaven. How wonderful the place is. The singing and rejoicing, the wonders of Heaven. After the long lecture which included picture illustrations of angels and demons, i confidently asked him to make a choice of where he would like to go. Lilman being whom he is had to defy everything. He tells me in the loudest voice he can master, “i want to go to hell.”

As you laugh at or cry for me, be easy. All hope is not lost yet. I haven’t gotten to the point where tall buildings suddenly look like great spots to jump from. I am not abandoning all hope. No not yet. You see this little guy who has ensured that mummy dearest cries once in a while is also awfully sweet sometimes. He will come up to me kiss me on the forehead or chick and tell me, “mum i love you.” and i jus fall in love all over again. He is very gentle around babies younger than him. So i have learnt to occupy his with mind boggling jobs. Will make him pick up objects and put them back in place all day long. He hates that. When he has been naughty, rather than give him a good spank these days i let him cry his sins out by giving him time outs. -warning, they really don’t fully understand the concept of timeouts. When he points at people i bind his fingers. Now he is learning the concept of freedom. Hehe. Obviously these sound like extreme measures. But i assure you he i were to chose any other way i might lose my head and soon after lose my freedom.

That having been said, i would like to say this; its not Lilman that i have am issues with. Its this endless learning age he is in. That causes him to jump from the couch just to test how fast you are or if you will actually catch him. I adore my little man. He has kept me sane over the last two years. He is the reason i wake up early in the morning. He has taught me the art of patience and not blowing my top at every possible instance. In general, with all the drama he came with, i would not exchange him for another child. He is the love of my life. And shall remain so.

But next time i see a woman trying to commit murder using a sugarcane, i will be sure to refer her to two year olds. They are sharp, swift and do not waste their time talking. So my new saying is, hell knows no fury as Lilman scorned.

Think not? Why don’t you tell me your view? Heheheheh